Love is, quite naturally, not always rainbows and sunlight. There are moments when you two seem to be staring at a sink loaded with non-moving dishes. Arguments never stop; silences linger or you just feel out of pace. Couples counseling will help you avoid treading on eggshells or continually practicing arguments in your mind at two in a.m –more about the author.
Suggesting counseling now could feel like defusing a bomb. Nobody like to come out as accusing or dramatic. Said another way: “What if we spoke together? I think it will help us to clear the atmosphere. Not one finger-pointing and not one strong comment. Although that team is basically tired and highly confused, the aim is to have both of you on the same team.
You should start researching after both of you find the idea appealing. Either ask friends or family you trust or go alone with an online search. Useful sites include counselor directories; you may filter by geography, experience, even language. Go through bios in a scroll. See who deals with couples, learn about their background, and find out whether their style is helpful.
Usually behind the name of every therapist lies a string of letters: LMFT, LPC, LCSW. Not required to commit what they all suggest to memory. Their marriage experience and training count most. If at first apprehensive, ask them, “Do you regularly work with couples?” and “Can you tell us about your style?” Most therapists anticipated these kind of questions.
Second as a difficulty is cost. Therapy can slash your pocketbook, but don’t allow it demoralize you. Ask directly regarding insurance acceptance and session fees. Sliding scale fees are used by many therapists. Income-based counseling programs also exist, hence money shouldn’t be the problem impeding progress.
After you set it, consider first session as a test run. You both want to know whether you can communicate without constraint or if things seem overly rigid. The first effort might not be a home run sometimes. Try another counselor; nothing major is lost if it does not feel like a fit.
You are not limited to meeting in a therapist’s office either. Typical these days are video conferencing. Some people find it easier to open up with a screen between them and the therapist—or just value not having to wear real pants.
Also beginning to appear up is homework. That has nothing bearing on essay writing. More likely you will find fresh conversation starters, listening exercises, or communication tips. And that’s progress; certain occupations look embarrassing, but you could even find entertainment in that.
Every relationship needs a spring clean sometimes. Getting treatment is an investment, not a capitulation. Couples counseling can help you both understand and trust each other more than before with a little patience, inquiry, and a dash of humor. And, if nothing else, you might at last agree on evening food plans.